Blood Simple

I just watched this again today - it is ridiculously good. Did you know it is the Coen brothers first film? I'm trying to remember if I put this in my noir section - but in any case, it deserves its own writeup.

This is noir at its best - twists and turns and cheaters and murderers and thieves. The main heroes (anti-heroes in noir) have no idea what is going on - which is a lot of fun. The bad guys are foul, somehow much more developed than your blockbuster - type bad guy. Well, that makes sense, because in noir the bad guys are critically important.

If you watch this, pay attention to the lighting; many of the scenes are lit with car headlights or streetlights, and to the silence. There are many scenes with no dialog, just digging or fear or the expression on someone's face. It's really cool.

Good Hair - laughed till I cried

Chris Rock made a documentary about black women (and men) and their obsession with their hair and hair products and salons. It is hilarious - and sometimes disgusting. Here are some interesting points from the movie:

1. Hair relaxer can blind you.
2. Tonsure, a head shaving ceremony in India, supplies the most popular hair for weaves. Most people with a human hair weave are wearing Indian hair.
3. A good weave starts at $1,500 - so the guys DO NOT get to touch it. It is far too important to be touched.

Check out Al Sharpton's theories - do you agree? Why or why not?

BTW - if you like this one, rent "the September Issue". It is theoretically about Anne Wintour getting out the big issue, but Grace Coddington is who / what I remember most.

Perfume - read the book

One of my favorite books is Perfume by Patrick Suskind. My friend A told me about it and I've read it a couple of times. It's a charming little story (sarcasm) about a very bizarre serial killer in 18th century France. The writing is beautiful, the concept is really different, and the use of words to create the obsession of the killer is amazing. Now, not everybody in my book club liked it; it's a bit gruesome, but I highly recommend it.

Anyway, "they" made a movie out of a book that seems not likely to transfer well to the screen. For example, the killer spends years of his life (kind of) meditating in a cave. When I heard the movie was being made, I didn't understand how it would be made. As it turns out, I don't think they did it very well. Some of the big scenes in the book are cut, which happens for good reason, but what is left doesn't hang together very well. If I hadn't read the book, I think I would have been lost. Plus the music (sweeping and cloying) sucks.

The best thing in the movie is Ben Whishaw, who plays the killer. He is creepy intense, and a great actor. He was in Bright Star this year, also playing an intense personality. Check him out in either movie.

Ridiculous

I have been watching the MOST ridiculous movie of all time - Brotherhood of the Wolf. I really really love it. Of course, it stars one of the coolest characters of all time - an Iroquois named Mani transplanted to France from America after his tribe is wiped out by plague. He's an expert in Chinese Kung Fu (!!!) and...wait for it...gets to wear a loincloth. I should do an entire list of loincloth movies.

This movie is so Hollywood, with guns, axes, hatchets, rabid animals, epileptic women frothing at the mouth, spurting and splashing blood, that it is really hard to believe you're listening to French. Another plus!! I would have to say this is a guilty pleasure, and I suspect many of my friends would also like it. This was the first time I saw Vincent Cassel - and he has a lot of fun with his role in the film. He's totally upstaged by his real-life wife though, Monica Bellucci. She plays a hooker with an incredible wardrobe (in an 18th century French province that is mud 90% of the year - but that's not even remotely the most unrealistic thing in the movie) who has some insane secrets, amazing skills in and out of the boudoir, and really bad dialog.

Honestly - it's a boatload of fun. It even has a soundtrack that is cringe-worthy. I loved it in the theater in 2001 and I still enjoy it.

Oh crap.

My DVD player blew up and ate three DVD's. I hope I can get them out. Had to take the house apart to get the wires out of the wall, etc. New one is on its way. I loved that old Denon.

Tilda and Helen and Plummer

These would all be great names for dogs, or fish, don't you think?

I watched fantastic movies today. First I finished Julia with Tilda Swinton. This had been on some early Oscar pick lists, but nothing came of it. The movie is astonishing. Tilda is an alcoholic and a slutty drunk, with one of the meanest mouths and tempers I've come across in a while. She is super fun to watch in this movie - but it's not a fun movie. It is a great thriller / adventure, but dark. I really found myself admiring her - not because she was in any way nice, or had a single moral in her drunk body, but because she had the most advanced survival instinct I've seen outside the cockroach. It was great - I highly recommend it.

If you watch it and like the kidnapping story, pick up Gloria, with Gena Rowlands. (Do not get the update with Sharon Stone.) You might also like Panic Room. Also - check out High and Low from Kurosawa, discussed in an earlier post. It's odd that I happened across a couple kidnapping movies in the same week.

If you like the alcohol story line, try Requiem for a Dream. This is one of the nastiest portrays of drug users ever, and the acting is tops.

If you like Tilda, try Constantine. This is about angels and demons and Hell, etc. with Keanu. It's not for everyone, but Tilda is cool, and her range is amazing. Then watch Michael Clayton - she got the Oscar for supporting actress for this. She is like some small reptile that lives under a rock. Then move on to Burn After Reading, where she is the most incredible ball-breaker of all time.

OK - so I am very impressed with Tilda every time I see her. How does she find such an amazing variety of roles and pull each one off like she does? I guess it's that old talent thing that I don't have. I compare her to Al Pacino and he comes up lacking.

So then I took my sad single self off to see the Last Station with Helen M and Christopher Plummer and James McAvoy. BTW - McAvoy is getting better and better. He plays an easily flustered virgin and is charming.

But Helen Mirren and Christopher P are amazing. Take a look at what they can do - think of her as the Queen and in Prime Suspect, and reflect on Plummer in the Inside Man (or National Treasure).

This movie is fascinating. It's about ideals, and how ideals can become a movement, and how movements need someone to nurture them and guide them - usually a bureaucrat or a zealot. It's also about love, and how it lives and dies and how people who love each other can be incredibly cruel to each other. Sounds like fun, right? It's not perfect, but the acting alone is worth it. When you add the scenery and costumes, and Paul G as a slimeball - it's well worth the ticket price.

It was a great V day.

Movies that start with M

I am having a great Saturday. I got a ton of shit done, and a bunch of plans fell through - so I have the day mostly to myself. What a kick ass day.

I went to the Messenger. My friend Scott hated it - said it was blatantly anti-military, or something like that? I hope I'm not misquoting him. I don't like "message" movies - I really don't like to be hit over the head with the filmmaker's agenda. I prefer to come to my own conclusions, or at least think that they're my own conclusions. Anyway, I didn't find this to be so much a message movie. These guys have a crap job, so I wasn't surprised to see them have crap days. I was paying attention for anti-military sentiment, but I really didn't see it. I saw great acting, but it didn't redeem the film.

These two guys have the most incredible speeches about war, etc., and I just don't know anybody that well-spoken in real life. I've read some articles lately about guys writing poetry and literature about the war, but I'm betting you don't see too much of that at the neighborhood bar. Samantha Morton's character was the same - she sounded like a poet and worked at the local storage rental units. (For example, her husband's shirt smelled like "rage". Really?) When they would start explaining their feelings or crying, it just didn't feel true. Also, the camera work was simplistic and the rest of the production was just so-so. I would pass unless you need to see all military related movies. If you don't, rent Hurt Locker instead, or the Lucky Ones.

But Moon is a boatload of fun! If you like movies about altered states, about uncertain reality, about conspiracies and corporate greed, this is a good choice. There are some surprises, too, and I'm not usually surprised. Especially good is the robot who runs the ship. See if you can figure out the voice.

Over and out starfleet.

Paranoia

OK - I just watched a great film - In a Lonely Place with Humphrey B (why doesn't anybody name their kids Humphrey these days?) and Gloria Grahame. Gloria was married to Nicholas Ray, the director, and their marriage was falling apart as this film was made. That kind of comes across in the picture. Pretty wild. I think Gloria also played the slutty girl in Oklahoma! - the best part by far.

I found this movie to be about anger and paranoia. The best Bogart film, in my opinion, is Treasure of the Sierra Madre, which also features paranoia in a starring role. Treasure is directed by John Huston, and features Walter Huston as the voice of sanity during the treasure hunt. You can pop this one in and watch Bogart go insane.

Documentaries

So I was at dinner with B and I tonight (great dinner at Le Pigeon; great conversation) - and we started talking movies. And eventually we got around to documentaries. I watched my favorite documentary of all time with B and I (Grizzly Man), and I still rant about how the best rated movie of the year could not be nominated IN A SINGLE CATEGORY at the Oscars. Ridiculous. So here are a few of my favs:

Grizzly Man - Werner Herzog made a fantastic movie here - I love the editing, first of all. I was nervous about watching the film because I didn't want to wait for the big grizzly finish. Well, it wasn't an issue because the outcome was discussed from the get go. To me, this movie is about madness, and how it displays itself.

Man on Wire - I think the best documentaries feel like fiction. This one feels like a bank robbery movie. If Handsome Rob had showed up in it, I would not have been surprised. Speaking of madness - how is this guy different from the Grizzly Man?

The Cove - I think this will win best doc this year. This is an espionage film. I would suspect that the actual footage of what happens in the cove is only a few minutes long; a smart move because it has more impact for the brevity. Most of the movie brings across the point that incredible efforts are made to hide this cove, with success.

Tyson - this is fantastic because he's an interesting person and because he is so candid. I am not into boxing, but this isn't about boxing so much as the rise and fall and maintenance of a legend.

When We Were Kings - I swear I'm not into boxing. I've never watched a real fight, but this movie about the Rumble in the Jungle is amazing.

Enron - The Smartest Guys in the Room - The story of Enron is fascinating, but also watch this to compare this average movie (with great information about what really happened with Enron) to the Cove or Man on Wire.

Classic Guy Movies

There are certain movies that guys adore. They adore these movies so much they quote them again and again, usually apropos of nothing. They quote these movies so much that I find myself wondering what the hell I'm missing - are the movies funnier or wittier or more clever or interesting than I noticed? Perhaps these oft repeated lines hold some clue to male / female interaction. It's more likely they just expand that huge list of male / female differences.

Here are a few obvious examples -

Apocalypse Now: I even went to Redux with my friend Brad because apparently I'm a masochist. Brando is fantastic - but what I hear guys say again and again: "I love the smell of napalm in the morning!" Why is this so cool??

Godfather: Some guys insist you just call the movies 1, 2 or 3. Don't date those guys.
- And may their first child be a masculine child.
- My father made him an offer he couldn't refuse.
- It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes. (And it goes on - there are three of these. It is a testosterone fest.)

Cool Hand Luke - I adore this movie. I love Paul Newman. I love a flawed hero. But my brother will respond with, "What we have here is a failure to communicate" instead of actually communicating. And then he'll repeat it 40 more times, while imitating the Warden. It's horrible.

Terminator - I love this one too! But "I'll be back" in a bad Arnold accent is painful.

High and Low

I am watching another Kurosawa film - I really need to buy everything he ever did. He directed 30 movies apparently - and I've seen maybe ten? That's pathetic. I am watching High and Low, and to use a phrase my friend Shannon loves: it's flawless.

High and Low is based on an Ed McBain novel (King's Ransom), which I will read. It is set in Japan in the early 60's, and some of K's regulars are there. Toshiro M plays a wealthy industrialist whose chauffeur's son is kidnapped by mistake instead of his own. The first half of the movie sets up his struggle regarding payment - his character will have to endure severe hardship to pay the ransom, and this isn't his kid, for God's sake! The second half is the police versus the criminal.

If you don't know Akira K, I would have you start with a different film, but this one would work for an intro to one of the best directors ever. Think about what Hollywood would do to this film.

Also note the comments at the beginning of the film regarding quality versus quantity in production of goods. It's pretty ironic given Toyota's current stint in the news.

Mamma Mia and Meryl

OK - has everyone seen the play? I've seen it 3500 times and it's my favorite play EVER. It's better than all the musicals, dramas, weird crap, classics - it's the best. Go see it next time it's in town and please, be sure to sing along.

The movie is not as good as the play - but it has Meryl! I dare you to watch it and tell me you didn't have a big stupid grin on your face the entire time. (I really want to dress up in the final costumes for Halloween with my friends. We're almost the right age!! OK - we're definitely the right age.)

A word on Meryl. Is there any other actress - her age or otherwise - who can open a movie so regularly? Who can sing, play Julia, do the accents? She does adventure, comedy, drama - and she's good at it all. She's a crossover hit with men, and an actress who works steadily even though she's over 50. I go see every movie she's in - don't you?

Bubba Ho Tep for Peggy

My friend Peggy asked me a very important q about Bubba Ho Tep. She asked if the man who was dyed or tinted was really supposed to be Elvis. I thought I knew the answer, but decided to watch the movie again just to be sure. Any excuse - what the heck.

The man who is dyed black is played by Ossie Davis, Hollywood royalty. He plays Jack Kennedy, who was dyed black, a piece of his brain removed and replaced with sand, and then stuck in this Mud Creek, Texas nursing home. There he meets the real Elvis, undyed, who got tired of the rock 'n' roll lifestyle, traded places with an impersonator, threw out his hip and ended up with Kennedy in the nursing home. Then the mummy shows up and starts sucking souls out of the nursing home residents. Elderly people are easy targets with deflated souls.

So, Peggy, Ossie D plays the REAL Kennedy, and Bruce C is the REAL Elvis. And this movie is a ridiculously good. I can only imagine the amount of fun they had on the set. Ossie D is really great in this role; he even talks about Marylin.

Al Pacino

Sorry about this, but I just don't get him. He's from the YELLING school of acting. I just finished Serpico, one of his older movies. I won't watch that one again. Think of Scent of a Woman - he just yelled, right? What am I missing with this guy? Think of his most famous lines? Was he yelling?

I've watched a lot of his movies, and usually I'm underwhelmed or annoyed. What am I missing?

Complications

I love a good plot - and if it's convoluted, yet done well, nothing is better. Probably the ultimate example for me is the Usual Suspects. I believe this was my introduction to Kevin Spacey - no, it was Glengarry Glenn Ross - but this was the first time I adored him. Verbal Kint is one of the coolest characters ever invented. (Does anybody remember Mr. Spacey in Working Girl? I sure don't.)

Here are a few more if you like The Usual Suspects:
LA Confidential (also with Kevin Spacey)
Duplicity (Clive Owen and Julia have fantastic chemistry, plus it has Tom Wilkinson and Paul Giamatti).
Devil in a Blue Dress - I wish they had made more of these. I love Mouse - and played by Don Cheadle he's a dream.
Frequency - I really like this time jumping move.
Lonestar - This may be Matthew M's only great movie.
Manchurian Candidate - both versions are good, but I do like the original better. If you only know Angela Lansbury as Mrs. Potts or Jessica Fletcher - check it out.
Michael Clayton - the supporting actors are amazing. Pay attention to Tilda (won an Oscar for this) and Tom W.
Third Man - this is Orson Welles as an actor - he wasn't just a director.

UP versus Avatar

OK - I'm home sick today. Not a mental health day, but regular old sick. I finished watching Funny People, which was not that interesting to me. If I remember the reviews correctly, it missed the mark with people who love the Apatow movies as well.

Please be my prisoner! Please, please, please be my prisoner! OK - I am loving UP. Just about the time I think cartoons are a waste of time, this comes along. When all the balloons rushed out of the house and into the sky, I thought to myself - this is way prettier than Avatar.

Then I met the villain: a Doberman with a squeaky voice - like he sucked Helium. He's not the ultimate villain - but the Avatar marine is about as subtle as this dog. The dog has better dialog.

I recommend this one - the love story is sweet too, but not too much of the movie. And it's full of wonderful quotes like, "I was hiding under your porch because I love you soooo much." Or something like that.

And the music is funny. I think they use Ravel in the beginning of UP as the Ed Asner character is navigating his house. Do you know the commercials for the National Guard? Avatar had that music. I wanted to vomit.

The movie Funny People was on the NY Times "Should be Nominated" list, so I picked it up. I will state up-front that I am not a fan of Adam Sandler or movies where people are embarrassed constantly. I can't watch. I can't watch Olympic skaters falling on the ice either - it's the same concept.

Anyway, I'm doing a bit of fast-forwarding in this one. There is a lot of self-embarrassment here. But my main q so far is this: do guys really talk about their dicks so much? So far I'm hearing primarily about penis size, size in relation to the balls, what the penis and balls say to each other, how to use a tissue when jerking off, when the hair on your balls goes gray, do they start to look distinguished?, and other interesting dick and balls commentary.

So the next time I walk by the kitchen at work and a couple of guys are in there talking, and they quickly shut up when I enter, I am not going to assume it's because I look funny or smell bad. I will assume they were talking about the hair on their balls. I will be thankful they stopped talking.